If we look back at our past or analyze something we did, we can always find something bad. Do you agree? There is always a reason to feel regret, to be angry, to say that could’ve done better.
The truth is: we are all winners. Why? Because success is relative. Everyone has a different concept of winning, and high achievers have a very high concept of success. That is why it is hard for them to stop and enjoy their victories. If you want to feel successful, the first thing you should do is define what it is to be successful, because nobody else can do it for you.
Cultivate optimism by using a log.
A log is a fundamental tool in our personal development. A written log can help identify negative thoughts that lead us to think we are not successful. Once identified, you can use techniques to replace them with more powerful thoughts. It is a clinically verified tool that has been used by Psychologists for decades.
To make a log you can do it easily electronically or by hand. To make a manual log, take a notebook and do the following:
- Identify negative thoughts. Write down all thoughts that lead to feelings of underachievement.
- Eliminate them with evidence. The easiest way to eliminate negative thoughts is by finding evidence of why it’s not true. Find reasons, statistics, ask a friend. The more positive things you write, the better will you feel.
Put realism aside and see the extraordinary side of yourself.
Psychologists Lauren Alloy and Lyn Yvonne Abramson hypothesize that realistic people tend to be more depressed. They call this ‘depressive realism’.
When you are a high achiever, you are always thinking about your next goal and tend to be very objective about it. You’re never satisfied and say to yourself: is good, but it could be better. This is the perfect formula to undermine your achievements and fall into depression. It is okay to keep your feet on the ground, but nothing good will come from burying yourself. One way to work through this is to use your log to write down why your victories are extraordinary rather than ordinary, no matter how small they are.
Kill perfectionism and let mistakes enter your life.
Cognitive distortions are what Psychologists call a misinterpretation created by our thought process. This is how they happen: a person does something and, through an incorrect interpretation in his thinking, finds mistakes in his behavior. For instance, you can be giving a great presentation to your boss and coworkers, and then a typo comes up on the screen. From there, every time you think about the presentation, the only thing you remember is the typo. How you were supposed to have perfect grammar and that your boss and coworker judged you for it.
If you want to feel like a winner, regardless of your current situation, you should start focusing on the good things first. Every time you find yourself filtering the positive from your achievements, take your log and find evidence of why you should celebrate and not feel bad about it. Kill perfectionism and embrace mistakes as a natural part of life. Think of it this way, the more mistakes you make the quicker you’ll achieve success!
Okay, no more excuses, one, two, three celebrate!
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